Sunday, February 28, 2010

Find Hope, Brothers

[Tony]---- A quick note of hope to my brothers at Ekklesiah.
In response to the times we find that community can also be messy----

Sometimes its difficult to see where and how God is moving in our lives not because He is far away or has taken a more distant seat, but rather because he is so close that He goes unnoticed. The winter has been long and is finally beginning to show signs of loosening its grip. We have spent a lot of time inside the house together over the last few months- a gift that cannot go unnoticed. I have watched God use the time that we have had, cooped up in the house on cold nights, to mold us, to shape us, to make us face up to some of the most vulnerable places of ourselves, our pasts, our presents, and each other, and ultimately, to grind us together and hammer us, like a blacksmith, into His sword. We go to these places, standing in the recognition of pain and struggles and change, because they are worth it- because in the end, the thing that God is shaping us into is a single body that looks like Him and His Kingdom. As we work through our most human struggles, we learn along the way that we struggle together, and that we find each other there, recognizing each person's truest and deepest nature, and ultimately, finding God in one another. Our struggle does not go in vain, and does not go unnoticed by our father in heaven. We push through because we love each other that much, because God has showed us how to love that deeply. Even though there has not been a lot of movement as of late as a community, doing things together outside of the house, I promise you that God is using this time, and had planned on this time, to push us, to train us, to ready us for the ministry that He has called us to. Transformational ministry outside of our doors is not an easy endeavor, on our streets, there is tremendous amounts of pain, anger, violence, neglect, hate, and lack of hope. To go there, we must be one- we must be one in each other and we must be one in God, as a body. In order to fit together as tightly and as firmly as we need to, we must be broken, reshaped, casting aspects of ourselves aside, shuffling off the layer of stone that covers the hearts God longs to shape. In order to fit together, we must cast away our layers of stone and let our hearts be revealed. Let your walls fall away. As a community we are being remade in the image of God, just like the first time each one of us first freely gave our hearts to Him. We shed layers of the stone that was formed on us and gave our hearts to God. Now, as a community, we are doing it again. Remember how difficult, but how beautiful the giving of ourselves to God for the first time was. I promise it will be that beautiful again.
Have hope in your brothers and find hope in your brothers. We have each been called, by God the Creator, to the same mission, to the same objective. God's Kingdom is being made more present and tangible on earth as it is in heaven every single day in our house and the community that we share. I see it manifesting, I see its roots growing deeper and I see its branches bearing so much fruit. May we, as a community, find a place in the comfort, trust, and unconditional love we have for one another, to become more fully human, and to grow to unfathomable depths in our relationships with God. May God use us to change our world before our eyes and may our eyes be open to recognizing the beauty and glory of what we are seeing- the Kingdom of Heaven on earth. May God open our eyes to see the fruits of our labor in one another. May we set our desire on a thirst for knowledge of deeper relationship, deeper love, and deeper faith. May God set the truth in each of your hearts that you are loved deeply by your brothers and that God is pleased at our obedience and pleased to work in and through us for His glory. May God open your hearts to find hope in these things as I have. Jesus is alive my dudes! Jesus is alive! May we be the vessels through which God reveals this truth to his beloved creation!
Through Jesus, humanity is being remade. God is restoring us and our world to a place of right relationship, as we speak. Here's a vision to dwell on: God is redefining the way in which humanity lives and what it lives for. Through Jesus, God has given us a glimpse of what that life may look like. Through the Holy Spirit, God is making it possible for us to give that same glimpse, that same hope, that same picture of a different life, a different world, a different way to live and to love to each other. There is a new world, growing, becoming, right here, right now, in the midst of the old one we see all around us. Ekklesiah is a picture of that new world. We are a picture of that new way. Let it be that in everything that we do, every word that we say, and every breath that we take, the Kingdom of God becomes so real that you can touch it. Do not be afraid to lift your eyes to greater things. Do not be afraid to dream about a better way. Do not be afraid to let your life, your hands, your feet, your love for others become a glimpse of a better way, a better world, of tangible restoration. You have been remade! You bear the likeness of the one who has saved you.

“But we have this measure in jars of clay, to show that the surpassing power belongs to God and not to us. We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair; persecuted but not forsaken; struck down, but now destroyed; always carrying in the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be manifested in our bodies. For we who live are always being given over to death for Jesus' sake, so that the life of Jesus also may be manifest in our mortal flesh. So death is at work in us, but life in you.” 2 Cor. 4:7-12

“Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God. Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love. In this the love of God was made manifest among us, that God sent His only Son into the world, so that we might live through Him. In this is love, not that we have loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son to be the propitiation for our sins. Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another, God abides in us and His love is perfected in us.” 1 John 4:7-12
what a week, 2nd ed.

[Nathanial] *sigh* God showed up again, in profound ways. This past week has included another series of events that can only be attributed to some of the sneaky ways God is orchestrating this journey before me. Observe:

The biggest event of my past week occurred as I was driving to Gallery last Sunday. I pulled up to an intersection in Dayton’s Bluff and allowed a pedestrian to pass in front of my vehicle. It seemed pretty apparent that this man was homeless. As I made my left hand turn, the thought ran through my head, “You could stop and invite this man into your car. You could have him join you for church this morning. Then you could take him out to lunch after church.” Unfortunately, I did nothing except keep driving. The further I drove away from this man, the more my heart pounded with these thoughts. It created a church service that was spent inside my own head wrestling. I continued to wrestle with this missed opportunity and another conviction that occurred during church throughout all of Sunday afternoon and evening. I wrestled so much that I got a migraine! The internal turmoil continued all through Monday. Interactions among our house members further twisted my heart to a point where I had a very difficult time falling asleep!
As the week wore on, I was able to process through these feelings and thoughts I had been having. One of my very wise roommates reminded me to acknowledge how God is redefining my heart. There is something very special when this type of heart change can be observed in a tangible way. If I had passed this homeless man even just one year ago, I would not have had the same experience. Through my time here at Ekklesiah, God is truly forming my heart a little more like His own. Please keep praying that the hearts of Ryan, Tony, Stash, Kaleb, & Nathanial continue to be molded and shaped into the Heart of God!

Well, God wasn’t finished with me yet. On Wednesday of this past week, He stopped me dead in my tracks again. I was working with an 8 year old nina at school and near the completion of our lesson together; she wanted to draw something on the chalkboard. Since she had worked so diligently that particular morning, I allowed her to go hog wild. She began to tell me about the new home her family moved into recently. She began to draw an apartment building. She included some windows and a door. Then, my friend told me the reason her family moved was because the house right next door belonged to her Tio [uncle in Spanish]. Here were her next comments: “My Tio’s house is right here. He has a lot of grass. We have a little grass, but my Tio has BIG grass.” She proceeded to grab the green chalk and scribble relative plots. It is in this comment where God hit me with a greyhound bus. The single thing most important to my friend, the thing that meant the most to her was grass! she repeated it four times! GRASS! It was such a jaw-breaking reminder of the beauty of simplicity that my eyes welled up with tears, right in the middle of my work day! It is my prayer that what we come to value really are the simple things like grass and that we might not be worried about the unnecessary or unimportant things to our Creator.

Nope, God still wasn’t done with me this past week. Thursday night my brothers at Ekklesiah supported Academia de Cesar Chavez during Math and Science Night. In exchange for a couple free slices, they gave a couple hours to serve juice and pizza and helped me provide childcare for families. While the selfless act of service alone is to be applauded, this night resonated with me on a deeper level too. My roommate Kaleb is onto something in his recent desires to share in the aspects of our lives outside the walls of Ekklesiah. It is because of serving together Thursday night that my roommates will now have visual images to connect to when I talk about my day at work. They can now recall a few of the kids I might mention on any given day. This is truly something special to me. To echo the prayers of my brothers here at Ekklesiah, keep praying that our relationships with one another would become more vulnerable and reach new depths of brotherhood. शांति.

Thursday, February 25, 2010

Reconnecting (Its been way too long...)

[Tony] First off, I must apologize for my lack of writing as of late. If anything, I hope that it can be a testament to how filled and challenging life has been. When I say “challenging”, I mean it in a beautiful, revealing, life-giving, and empowering sort of way.
Lately, most of my attention has been devoted almost exclusively to three things: school, Ekklesiah, and work. I have been learning to see these three major elements of my life as “fuels” which allow for each to grow in and around me over time. For example: I must work so that I can continue to live here at Ekklesiah. So, in a way, work is fuel. Like fuel for my vehicle, I must make sure that there is enough fuel in my tank (or in my bank) in order to go where I want to go and do what I want to do. Ekklesiah keeps me working and I work so that I can continue to be part of this amazing, developing, and transformative community. It is here that I have found depths of joy, meaning, and fulfillment in ways that are deeper that any I have ever known. So, I keep chuggin through my 40 hour work weeks to “fuel” my tank.
Like my job fuels my life at Ekklesiah, Ekklesiah in itself is fuel and motivation to dedicate all of myself to my classes right now. This “fuel” actually goes two ways. First, because my heart is so invested and called to life and ministry at Ekklesiah, I have chosen to further my education so that I have even more to give of myself here. Ekklesiah fuels my desire and purpose at school. It keeps me focused. It keeps my school work relevant. And it is in this way that my classes also provide fuel for my life at Ekklesiah. I have learned so much, about the history of the church, the phases of development through generations of Christians, the old ideas that have become new ideas over and over again throughout the life of the church (like us!), how Christian ministry shapes itself in the face of extreme violence, poverty, and social issues, how the body can be most influential in these types of places, I have learned about leadership and how the leadership of Christ looks inverted when compared to the leadership of worldly leaders, and I have learned a great deal about hermeneutics, approaches to reading, interpreting, and contextualizing biblical literature. All of these things are little bits of fuel and I am able to come home every day trying to figure out how to use them, to test them, and to make what I have learned in class tangible in my own life, faith, leadership, and community.
I am extremely blessed with the opportunities that I have in my life. I am blessed by the amazing, loving, and intimate relationships I share with my brothers here at Ekklesiah, with my friends and classmates, with my church community (even if it has become spread over multiple congregations), and with my family. That being said, I also have made incredible strides as of late to conquer one of my biggest weaknesses: I have learned to recognize and accept the “defeat” of getting tired, overloaded, and stressed at times. I say it like this because before recently, I was the kind of person who recognized “being tired” as a defeat. Lately, I have been "defeated" a lot lately, working full time, full time grad school, and the passion I have for the ministry of Ekklesiah can be quite the ship to handle at times. I am an accomplisher. I have to be doing something. I have to be either working towards or finishing an objective. At the end of the day, the “success” of my day is determined by what I was or wasn't able to get done. The lessons I have learned: first, I am always going to be like this, and thats okay. Those that are closest to me know that I am driven and ambitious, and that is a strength that God has given me. However, lesson two: life is not about what you do or get done or accomplish, life is about the love that you give and receive, the relationships that you make and maintain, and the path that you walk in faith, all the while accomplishing what is asked of you for the Kingdom alongside those you love. And finally, lesson three: it is okay to be tired, to get drained, to be stressed, to feel small or overwhelmed. It is in these places that we experience some of our most basic and human elements. We find our mortality. We learn that we are finite and that there will always be a beginning and and end, to each day, to each year, and to our lives. We find our vulnerable places, coming face-to-face along the way the things that we aren't capable of, that we can't do (or at least all at once) or that we don't have the energy or time for. In deep ways, these are fearful places to step into. These can be scary places because it is in these places that we recognize the need we have for community, for others who surround us, who support us, and who are there when you are most “successful” and when you find yourself asleep, exhausted, on the couch with shoes still on you feet after a grueling day of work or week of study. We find a place in community where we are comfortable to do incredibly uncomfortable things. We learn to let go of our battles, the ones that we insist on fighting and winning alone, regardless if someone wants to help. We grow to be okay with losing control, depending on another for support that we need. We stand in the face of our own shortcomings, failures, and finite places. If we find ourselves in those places without community, we hide. We run away. We avoid having to recognize their truth. But in community, we can stand there, knowing that we are loved, knowing we are accepted, and knowing that we are never alone, because where my string of energy ends, my community is just beginning. It is when my energy runs out and my brothers at Ekklesiah come to me in my tiredness and ask what I need prayer for. It is when I make a mistake, or say something I don't really mean to a family member and they forgive me because they love me. It is when my church embraces me after 2 months away from worship services (because of work), choosing to be happy to see me instead of judgmental of why they don't see me more. This is community in its most tangible, naked, real, and practical sense. It is guiding me to grow into a deeper and more loving person than I could have ever been on my own.

Vulnerability

{Kaleb} God is good. I had to start with that because well obviously he is, but in my life I have to remind myself of that because I don't always feel like he is. This blog maybe a little scatter brained but stay with me. I have been having a really blahhhh time of late. I know it is because I havent been taking time for solitude. So pray that I do. I know that I have to work on being vulnerable and that is so hard for me, because I dont think to share my burdens or pains with anyone simply because I never have. I have always just kept it inside because I knew I could handle it. Why I am writing is i guess first of all to speak it out that I am going to work on becoming vulnerable, and I would appreciate anybody willing to pray for me.

Another thing that has been waying heavy on my heart is that in my relationships with people if there is ever a rift I have to be the one to reach out to repair it and I am feeling alot like I am the only one trying to change things and they are just expecting me to change to fit into their box. So pray I quit throwing pity parties for myself and that I realize its not all about me.

!!!SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT!!!
I am done being the person that everybody needs me to be. For so long I have been trying to be the person everyone needed me to be. I have realized that I cannot make everybody happy. That I cant be everything for everybody. I am going to make a pact with myself to put myself first. I am making a commitment to saying NO to things. I am adopting the 30-30 plan ive been preaching but not practicing. Finally and probably the most difficult. I am going to be vulnerable with God and work through the pain I have in calling him father or daddy. So pray for that as well.

I am so thankful that you people listen to my rants. I am more than greatful for the prayers.

(any suggestions for tuesdays w/ Kaleb????


Peace to your momma ship!!!

Love

KG

Monday, February 22, 2010

Losing my Virginity

{Kaleb} What's up Blog!!! So to our blog followers you will know that this is my first time posting (hence the title). I am super excited to inform you a little bit of what has been going on in my life and in our community through my eyes. First of all this last weekend I had the amazing opportunity to team teach with Jamie Racine @ winter white out. I believe that God showed up in some very powerful ways. A little background story to my favorite moment of the weekend. This past fall I had an awesome opportunity to coach volleyball at park high school along side Terry Foss. It was an awesome to get to know the girls, many of them started coming to 180. Alright back to the favorite part of my weekend. Two of the girls who were on my team, who were coming to 180 but just kind of there not really participating to much. Were crying and I went and prayed with them, than Katie Mooty came over and she actually was able to pray with them to accept Christ. Which in itself was awesome!!! Sunday morning we provided an opportunity to students to get baptized if they wanted too. James and I were in the pool. I was able to baptize roughly around 20 some students. Including many of the girls on the volleyball team. Which has to be one of the most awesome God moments in my life. Just to be able to be apart of it was awesome. Praise God!

Now around the home front. Pray for us! It has been pretty frustrating for me lately around here. Just as a house us not really doing much. I know its not about doing more stuff but at the same time I don't view that as an excuse to not do anything. So pray that God would stir us to movement.

Pray for the community as a whole. We will be going through some major changes throughout the spring and summer, pray that God would continue to speak to us that we would know what to do and that God would make it clear as to who is suppose to live here, and once we find out that, how we can best serve each other, Dayton's Bluff, and the Church body as a whole.

Pray for the Carlson Family their was a tragic accident with their son being accidently ran over by a car. Josiah was two years old.

A little treat for you guys I will be starting Video Blogs every tuesday throughout the year here on our blog so you can all look forward to Tuesdays With Kaleb.


Shalom

Kaleb

Friday, February 12, 2010

[Nathanial] Nothing extremely profound today. Trying something simple. There are moments in life when one gets an opportunity to step back and reflect on the AWESOMENESS of God. Here are a couple of those moments from my life the past month.