Thursday, April 30, 2009

Imported Peanut Butter and other things that are hard to share.



[James] If you haven't tasted natural peanut butter before, I recommend that you do. The pure taste of peanuts without the guilt of hydrogenated oils beats out the candy tasting skippy of our youth. I discovered Adams along with a number of other healthy foods during my years in Montana. Ryan and I would buy Adams 36 oz. at a time. In order to stir this vat of sandwich spreading, banana topping, carrot dipping goodness, we would take a power drill, attach a wooden spatula to it, and mix the ingredients to perfection. After returning from Montana, I have yet to find a distributor of Adams. Recently a great friend of ours, Sarah, was in Montana visiting and as a gift to Ryan and I, she bought a jar for us and mailed it back to us in St Paul. The box arrived along with a picture she took of us mixing a jar with the power drill.

Over the course of the next few weeks the peanut butter began to be enjoyed, not only by Ryan and I, but by the community. I will never know if the roommates thoroughly savor every taste of the peanut butter goodness or not, but it was eaten. This morning, I finished off the jar and I thought about how it seemed to have disappeared before my eyes, like the years of a child growing in the midst of their parents (; And it was HARD! What were my other options? Could I have put Ryan's and my name on it?... yes. Could I have asked the roommates to buy some other peanut butters?... yes. But I, like my brothers have been challenged to let go of the things that we consider so sacred and so important to us. In the process of doing so, it hurts! But we believe that the benefits thereof are far surpassing to the personal possessions of selfish and hording mentalities. There is still a line at which we draw "mine-yours", but I feel that this line is shifting all the time towards "ours" and it is beautiful... and hard.

Another "thing" of mine that is maybe most difficult to share is my personal space, especially that of my room. I have no walls separating my room from the community space which makes for exposure to a lot of commotion. I am able to adapt quite well, I would say, to the circumstances, but there are those few times that my sleep and my need for alone time is severely jeopardized. I always try and keep an open-bed policy for my brothers. Often times when I am away my roommates and friends will sleep in my bed which I am more than happy to share the comforts of; and it is comfy, but at times it gets to be too much... crawling into an unmade bed, with sheets everywhere, pillow cases soaked in other peoples B/O, and sharing a bed with people who are "loud sleepers" is not always EASY!

I am trying to find the balance between being a humble and gracious giver with still allowing myself to be honest and true to the things that are important to me. As the line moves from "mine-yours" it will be important that I treat everyone's gifts as gifts and attempt to be a good steward of those gifts. How many times have I left my things lying in other peoples space, taken of their food without contributing whole-heartedly, and how many times have I expected that someone else would do the dishes, sweep the floor or clean the bathroom.

What would be hardest for you to share with others?
What things of others do you enjoy the use of and maybe take for granted?

1 comment:

kzabel said...

My friend Eric lives in an intentional community. For lent, one of the guys in the house gave up "possessive language" and said it was one of the hardest things he's ever done.

I have two co-workers/roommates who don't have cars, and ask me fairly often if they can borrow mine. Because it is the most expensive thing I own (even though it's only a '97 Accord!), it was really hard for me to say yes. Once I started viewing it as something God had given me to share, I was less possessive with it. It is still hard because I worry about wear-and-tear and accidents, but I'm putting it in God's hands-- trusting that while I'm being a good steward of what he's given me, he will take care of it :)